Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The *whole time*

Hey people.  Let's review the brief, tumultuous history of me and men.  First-- there was little Keithy Peterson-- My bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Then came a whole bunch of moving around until 10th grade, when I dated this Iranian guy who turned out to be a completely insane abusive stalker.  Note to self at that point-- "Guys can be very dangerous, and weird."  For this and other complicated reasons I'd not understand for decades, I developed some hard-core control issues.

Then along came this guy.  He wasn't a bad guy.  It went something like this-- "Hey, you're cute-- give me your phone #."  Me-- "No."

But I eventually caved.  Then it became-- "Wow- you're funny too, and a little weird, but fun to hang out with.  Want to be my girlfriend?"  Me-- "Okay, but fair warning, I'm not as slutty as most guys would hope, so...  just saying." 

 As one might expect, the fun hanging-out soon degenerated into attempts to paw me, slobber all over me, make me account for every second of my time, and to report my whereabouts & daily activities.  I didn't let my parents or teachers control me,  and I sure wasn't about to let this joker-- or any guy for that matter.  ~See ya.~

Then along came this one.  Same thing-- "Hey!  Cute, funny, fun, rowdy-- be my girlfriend!"  

I wound-up going to the same lengths to avoid this one too eventually-- climbing trees, hiding in bushes, scaling small buildings... this was before cellphones, so all the ditching was pretty old-school. There were also frequent attempts at pawing and slobbering, which were not appreciated.  

God-- these poor guys.  I really thought it should be enough for them just to be able to call me their girlfriend and maybe make-out occasionally.  Mostly I wanted them somewhere on the periphery, where they couldn't interfere with my life.  I swore I'd never EVER get married or have kids, and thought all my gal pals were bats for how into their guys they were.  Didn't they see these guys were just trying to control them????  ~outraged~

Then along came Dan.  Look how young and cute we were.  

When we first met I was wearing my fetching York Steak House uniform, that looked basically like the square-necked one here, but burnt orange and harvest gold.  How could he resist?

He did actually, for quite a while.  We were friends for a long time before the light went off and I became *in love* with him.  I knew that's what it must be, because I always felt like throwing-up, and was ~obsessed~ with him.

We were sharing an apartment with some people by this time, and he worked 3rd shift.  When he got home he'd hang out with me while I drew stuff, or tormented him by knocking the cereal spoon away from his mouth just before it got there.  We spent a lot of time together, and I had no idea he too, had pawing and slobbering on his mind, until one night we just suddenly started making-out like crazy.

Turns out, we'd both had big crushes on each other for months.  We've been together ever since.  When people ask how long, I can never remember, so now I just say-- "the whole time", since I was 19.

I lucked-out.  Most of the women I know either aren't, or weren't happy with the guy they first picked. 

It's as if the Universe plunked Dan down in front of me and said, "Here-- You need THIS one.  He'll do your bidding, because you need to learn to not abuse your power, and to become generous from his example."

 "He's funny, but not in the kind of smart-alecky way you are usually drawn to, because you need to learn it's more important to be kind than to go around trying to show everyone how smart you are all the time--- plus, he'll dork-out and do things like robot dance with you."

 "He's calm, and patient, because you need someone to temper the dopamine addict/thrill-seekey part of your personality.  You need to be taught stable and reliable aren't the same as boring.  Also he likes to be outside in nature the same as you, and not be killing everything that moves-- because I, the Universe, know that wouldn't go down with you so well."

 "He loves you, and will show it in unexpected but undeniable ways, by accepting you how you are, and not trying to hold your leash.  He'll let you come to him.  He won't be a flowers and candy guy, because you're on to that anyway.  That's not what you need.  You need someone who'll scrape off your car windows, and build you a super cool workshop, and teach you to accept and value your differences."

"He'll let you take your whole life, if that's how dense you turn out to be, to learn that giving in and loving him with your whole entire tender heart isn't some kind of warped defeat.  He'll wait and wait, until the best parts of you surface.  I, the Universe have given you guys permanent love goggles, that will make you always make sappy love faces at each other, for ever and ever."

 I can't take credit for being smart enough to know I was making a good choice when I picked Dan.  It really does seem like The Universe somehow interceded.  I'm glad it's worked-out, and *work* is a key word too.  The Universe may have plunked him down right in front of my face, but you don't stay together this long by accident, it's a choice you firmly make, and work at.

One key though gals-- any guy cats love this much has got to be a good one.  (He's going to kill me for putting this pic up-- but look how adorable...)

~Makes googley eyes of love at him~


Linda G. said...

Awww. *sniffle* That is just beeyootiful. You guys are so lucky the universe brought you together. :)

Linda Thiltgen said...

Awww. what a great tribute post your love. Congrats....and good work!

pseudosu said...

Double barrel Linda's again! Love it!

Linda G- Thanks. I know!

Linda T- Thanks. Glad you also have a *good one*. :)

b_elliott said...

Oh, love is so wonderful! Good for you two!

strugglingwriter said...

You guys are so cute. Great post and congrats to you.

irishk said...

A good partner will sit with you until you can stand again...a good partner is difficult to find. Congratulations to both of you for allowing the Universe to work it's magic. Kathleen

Maery Rose said...

So happy for you. So sad for me. I'll keep watching and picking up clues. You guys are my heroes.

pseudosu said...

Beth & Paul-- Thanks guys!

Kathleen-- I love that! Thanks!

Maery-- Sis had an interesting comment on her sitch, "Figures, since I'm the one with the low-self-esteem issues, The Universe would stick me in my very own self-esteem bootcamp." She claims w/o her less-than-great experience, she'd not have gained the ground she has in that area. (?) It's a journey huh?

Jill said...

What a sweet and heartwarming post!

Lynn Fisher said...

Awwwwwww! So sweeeeeet! Love you guys!

Anonymous said...

awesome post