Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Snow Day!

Hey people.  Despite appearances, I'm neither sucking on a lemon or bummed-out (much) at the snowfall today.  It was really nice out, pretty really, and since it was the weekend we really didn't HAVE to go anywhere.  Look-- I'm wearing the cute boots, and my new awesome scarf & jacket.  ~FashON~

The cats always have a hard time adjusting to this time of year.  All summer they run in and out at will-- I leave the patio door open.  Now they have to *ask*.

They don't take my word for it they won't like it.  So if I was willing, I could do nothing else all day except open and close the door for them every 5 minutes.

"No, seriously.  We DO want to go out.  It's nicer now than 5 minutes ago right?  Right???"

I've been putting off cleaning for months since I've been so busy working, and ~cough~ it sucks the very soul from my body.  My good friends know this about me.  Anyone who's been to my house actually knows this, whether they like me or not.

Today it took me all morning to just get this much of my kitchen clean.  And that's after spending ALL DAY yesterday just excavating-- clearing away the layers and piles of junk mail and tools and, eh-- it tires me out just listing it all so never mind.  ~Wow~  Totally worth it wouldn't you say?  (Not) 

I friggin' HATE cleaning you guys.  I grew up in a spotlessly white house (not kidding-- carpet, everything) and cleaning chores were an integral part of life my entire childhood.  I always vowed I'd find better ways to spend my time *when I grew up*.  Perhaps it's a sign I never really did, but to this day I resist cleaning whenever possible, until I just can't stand it anymore.

Look-- I'm so unaccustomed to cleaning products all the scrubbing wore the skin off my thumb & fingers.  I literally *worked my fingers to the bone* people!  (Yes, that's a welder in the background.  What?--  Doesn't every kitchen have one?)

One of the reasons I don't like cleaning is that it makes me confront things like this-- I am not, and will probably never be-- the type of person whose home is full of lovely fresh floral arrangements.  I must have wanted to be at some point, because I have a shit-load of vases.  WTH?  I haven't moved (or dusted) these since I moved in, like, 4 years ago.

My first impulse is to get rid of them all, but then I'd have a bunch of empty shelves.  That would look dumb.  No matter what I put there, it'll just get dusty.  This irritates me.  So I have a bunch of dusty vases I don't use, and meanwhile I stash this kind of thing around-- little stones, sticks, feathers & shells -- because that is what I'm into & like.  (Note my attempt to tame the phone cords-- pointless.)

I am not the kind of person who keeps their Parmesan in an attractive shaker like this, nor do I keep whatever is supposed to be in that other bottle in that thing.  Yet here they sit, now glisteningly clean, for no apparent reason.  (Nice oven mitts huh?  I refuse to get new ones until I find ones I *really like*, which is impossible because hello???-- they're just stupid oven mitts!)  (Oh-- the ancient plastic timer is a relic from Dan's past I'm not allowed to dispose of, and I'm pretty sure it's haunted because it occasionally-- about once a year-- gives an impromptu *creepy chimey music* concert all on its own.)

 Behold what took me nearly all damn day to accomplish people-- my stove now gleams with the intensity of a thousand suns.  Seriously, you need protective eyeware just to look at this sucker.  It's a regular retina fryer now.  You could *eat off it* now.  (Why is that a thing?  I mean really-- not interested.)

Do I feel a sense of accomplishment?  Like there is order to the universe now?  Like at last the pieces of my life are falling into place? Calmer somehow?  No.  No I do not.  I'm okay with it being clean (*glad* is overselling it a bit), but if I lived back in the day where doing this kind of thing was my *job*-- I'd for sure have been a pill-popping alcoholic, instead of, you know, just the regular kind.

Oh-- and check this out--- that little panel on the bottom?  It's a secret DOOR people.  And what was behind it?  ~Untold horrors.~  I have no idea what this shit is, or what it's doing there, or why there's even a door there.  Probably just to give me another area to keep track of and clean.  Guess again makers of my stove!  I'm NO WAY IN HELL reaching in this grody spider hole.  As far as I'm concerned this is the dead zone.  ~Does not exist~

This is about how far I got cleaning.  Half-way around the space of my kitchen, but since it's the half that contains the dishwasher, sink, and oven, and this weird nook, I'm calling it over half.  This corner bugs me.  I cleaned it, but it's no more handy or attractive than before really.

This is just the tip of the cleaning iceberg.  I'll work on it more tomorrow, but then have to get back to welding art stuff.  Thank God, because I doubt I could bear much more of this drudgery.  I still wish I could just dynamite the dumb calcium deposits off the bathroom stuff.


irishk said...

I wondered if your cleaning escapade was going to become a blogging event...that is one seriously CLEAN stove! Way to go. That has to earn you some kind of womanhood stripe somewhere in the universe :-) Love the new photo on your blog site ~ really cute! Did you have on your new rockin' boots earlier today and I missed them? I was so busy trying to contain my hot flashes, I just wasn't able to fully take in my surroundings. There is something truly magical about the first snow and I hope I never get so complacent about life that I fail to see the beauty of it. I know it comes with hassles and I get very tired of it by the end of January, but it is a mighty beautiful canvas provided to us free of charge year after year. Now that you have all your cold weather gear, you can fully appreciate the season, as I know you will. So cleaning be gone...you have much better things to do! Has Dan tackled any part of this cleaning endeavor? I would hope it is an equal opportunity adventure :-) Kathleen

pseudosu said...

Dan's version of cleaning is taking the "dan-piles" of stuff I collect of his and secreting them away to the recesses of the garage or stuffing them in the crawlspace somewhere. I've told him if/when he goes, I'm walling the crawlspace up, entombing his ~hoard~ for eternity.
Yes-- I had on the boots! (It was boiling there). Yay winter-- it kills all the bugs and gives us other fun activities to do. :)

Maery Rose said...

Yes I was wondering where Dan was in all this. Your "clean" area does look awesome. I would stay away from the secret stove space too. I'm trying to tack my own mess since skijoring got cancelled today. I hate when life does not offer a good excuse to avoid the vacuum cleaner.