Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Processing the process

Hey people.  These pics are not in order, and I don't have time to mess with them this morning so this post will be a bit disjointed.  An art pal is coming over to give me some maczilla wisdom.  I am super pumped because she is one of my favorite people and I don't get to see her very often.  It is so cool how many people are willing to share their expertise with me.  More progress in that department soon.

Meanwhile, I went to Buffalo with my buddy Linda last week.  There were a few finds.  I think the title of this one was "And then she ate it."

We went for a walk to the river this weekend.  We had sort of a *togetherness* weekend, and it was really nice.  This is our neighbor Chad.  The cat is Camper, and he likes to ride on people's shoulders.  It's a fun part of living in Suelandia, running into your neighbor in the snowy woods.  

This is a cool old bike I saw in Buffalo.  I'm starting to get bike fever.  I haven't been able to ride penny as much as I thought because the trail hasn't been packed enough for me to get the hang of winter trail riding, and packing her up and taking her up to the state forest snowmobile trails (which aren't that packed or great either) is a two to three hour deal, and more fun with playmates.

Meanwhile, assfat has exploded out of me like those inflatable life rafts you pull the cord on.  People I know will be like, "Oh no-- you look fine."  But I can TOTALLY see it, plus, jeans don't lie.  I now have to perform a whole Jack Lalane style routine of squats and lunges to get some of them to fit.  Not cool!

So I'm reading this big book about how to hack into your body's programing and do everything from hold your breath for 5 minutes to injury-proof yourself, to yes--- lose weight fast, to have a 15 minute orgasm.  This is what I'm going to eat for breakfast for a while to see what happens.  I'll keep you posted. 

These are some cool old jars in Buffalo.  I love the used flashbulbs.  One man's trash, as they say.  I finally joined "Pinterest".  Linda told me about it ages ago, but I didn't really get it, and was super busy at the time, but now that I've had some time to check it out it's pretty cool.  You have to apply to be *invited* to join, but it must be pretty easy to get in since I did.  It's a great place for arty types to go for visual stimulation.  I'll probably post this pic later when I have time.

These golf shoes were in Buffalo too.  If they had been my size I would totally have gotten them and pulled the cleats out and just worn them as normal shoes with jeans or whatever.  Aren't they cool?

 Here's Dan and I before our Sat night date.  We went to the movies and dinner with another couple.  later we stayed up late talking.  It was really nice.  We've been doing that a lot lately.  My life has gotten a lot busier in the last few years.  Sometimes that has bothered Dan, but now he knows while I seem to need a lot of activities and friends, and value all that stuff a lot, it just ads texture to my main life, with him.

I've been feeling pretty different lately.  I'm kind of processing it.  I think this will be a good year for things leveling out a bit for me.  You know how I've talked before about feeling like there was clockwork spinning almost out of control inside me at times?  I don't feel like that so much now.  I still have ambitions and goals, but a more relaxed attitude, like, I understand it's all a process.  Things don't feel as urgent.

Here's a winter rider for those of you who live in warmer areas.  The twin cities is the nation's top cycling community now, and people don't stop in winter.  People in the cities still ride to work-- the hard core ones.  I got this from the paper.  I love how he looks kind of like a knight or some guy from the future or something.

Recently I spent a bit of time with someone who had the spinning clockwork thing big time.  It was the first time I saw this in someone else.  I instantly recognized it.  I empathized with this person, but also could see how weird that energy is, observing it from the outside.  I knew it was isolating for that person, sort of impenetrable.  It made me really glad I'm rid of it, for now at least.  I like feeling more at ease, and want people to feel comfortable around me.

Now I just have to remind myself you can't *save* everyone.  Having more people around me means hearing a lot more about people's problems, and I have tended, in the past, to get too sucked in.  I'm still trying to figure out how to be a good caring person, but not get dragged down.  For now I'm going to just try to send out positive vibes, and refuse to enter dramas.  It's all a process right?

7 comments:

Maery Rose said...

That's a tightrope to walk - trying to be a compassionate person but to not get sucked dry or feel slimed by downness. It's important to me to be a source of energy and light, not a drainer so I appreciate it when someone lets me know if I'm slipping to the dark side. Just a thought.

There are a few bike riders on Marshall on the way to work. With the road significantly narrower due to snow, it's a little scary driving around them. Some are on skinny tires. I don't know how they don't slip and fall. Makes me nervous. I'm all for bikes using the sidewalk until the snow melts but I suppose it's slower to ride off the road.

I'm usually not a color blue fan, but there is something oceany and robin eggy about those jars and the lightbulbs that I like.

pseudosu said...

I should say, if anyone is reading this going, "Is she talking about me?" No-- I'm not. The people I was referring to (spinning clockwork/drama) don't really know me well enough to know about Suelandia and wouldn't stumble on it either.

Maery Rose said...

Oh, I wasn't thinking it was me. I am like the best thing that ever happened to you. Okay, that might be going a bit too far...

And what the heck is with my verification word? Probed?!

pseudosu said...

LOL!!!

irishk said...

Double LOL Maery! Sue's right though, I think there are people that think they are the 'source' of whatever 'it' is in any situation. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not the spinning clockwork thing, because I have been there and I too know what it looks like. I used to call it 'whirring' because I felt like I could almost hear something inside me making a whirring noise, like I was vibrating or something. At any rate, I have seen a difference in you Sue, even in the short time I have known you, there has been a calmness that has grown around you. It's a good thing. It feels like you are accepting your vulnerabilities and letting yourself be softer without losing any of your awesome edginess and power. It IS a fine line to walk as Maery said...to learn to be a supportive friend without being a doormat or without taking on the drama. I also think that we get wiser about surrounding ourselves with people that help us be who we want to be and who bring that out in us. Nothing is more pervasive than negativity and it does no one any good. Life seems to have so many 'fine lines' and shades of gray. The line between vanity and self-pride...between aggressiveness and assertiveness...between obsession and passion...the list goes on. It is our true friends and like-minded sisters that help us find our own unique path. You do a great job of introspection and you 'see' with sightless vision. Love the photo of Chad with Camper...he kind of looks like the Hunchback with him on his shoulders like that:-) Nice photo of you and Dan as well! Your breakfast concoction looks pretty good...I hope you see the progress you want. Kathleen

pseudosu said...

As usual Kathleen, your comment is like a welcomed *guest post*. You always have such great insights. *love* !

Linda G. said...

I'm sure you said a lot of profound things in this post, but all I can focus on is the 15-minute orgasm. *boggles at the thought*

Sorry, but...well, this IS me, so what do you expect? ;)