Hey people. Doing battle on several fronts right now. The show preparations continue. I'm about to get into it with my city over a dispute affecting us and 18 other homes (I've been mistaken for a lawyer a couple of times in the past-- Nope, I am just good at research, and arguing), and, I'm having to figure out a bunch of other unrelated financial stuff (refinancing), and, while I can and have slogged my way through this kind of negotiating before, math stresses me out, as do people trying to take advantage of me. ~Stressful week.~
Whew---- b r e a t h e Sue. I keep reminding myself my most important and pressing task at hand is preparing for this show, and getting to work in the world's prettiest welding shop every day isn't half bad.
So--- remember this?
I kind of like that, even though it's hard. I both like and dislike it. When I'm doing that I can only really think of riding, and that's a nice break. But it is shoving me out of my comfort zone. Probably good for me, but I was finally feeling like I was hitting my stride.
The visual part reminds me of a horse I used to have that was a total spaz-- he'd arch his neck and swing his rump around at the slightest oddity, afraid of everything. Now that the trail looks so different, I find myself staring at rocks that are now more exposed, potholes that have developed, and washed-out ruts resembling gully's, thinking "oh--- scary! Don't ride there!" and of course my bike heads directly for whatever I am looking at---- just like horseback riding.
I'm working on de-spazzing--- looking where I want to go, and trying to keep everything bent and staying loose in attack position. This is the hardest thing for me--- to ride loose enough to float over the rough stuff, when I'm scared to death. Psychotically, I continue to somewhat enjoy this challenge, even as it frustrates me.