Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Monday, March 5, 2012

Convalascing not as fun as I imagined

Hey people.  Here is what I would say about being in the hospital if anyone came to visit me (which I asked people not to do),-- If it wasn't for all the medical stuff, having an unlimited supply of perfect pencil-eraser-sized crunchable ice delivered to me at all hours, and an adjustable bed with as many pillows as I requested, and leg-massaging boots, and cable t.v, was not all that bad.  Also hospital gowns are surprisingly soft and comfortable.  The food?  Well, they try, but no one says, "Oh hey I know,-- let's go eat at the hospital!"

Even after 3 days of no food I couldn't choke down my entire grilled cheese sandwich.  As for getting poked by needles constantly, a major phobia of mine--- I sucked it up.  People do whatever they need to.  I was very aware of how fortunate I was to be in for a routine procedure, and  that my actual health was great.  I wasn't going though all this wondering if I'd live, like many people who have diseases etc do.

I also kind of liked having the nurses to interact with.  I'm very much about moving, being creative, and being outside, and here I was really reduced to an organism for several days, and I wondered how I'd feel;  If I'd feel like I'd lost myself a bit.  But I realized there is a big part of me that is about others too.

Nurses work 12 hour shifts.  For those who've never done this, 12 hours of working on your feet and keeping your energy elevated enough to be plugged in to other people is extremely taxing.  I made a point to find out a little about each of my nurses, and make sure they felt appreciated and seen.  A couple even came to visit me after being assigned to other floors etc.  The thought crossed my mind that this will likely be one of the last things I do in life-- have this kind of interaction.  It wasn't a bad feeling.

Then I got to go home after a few days.  Nurse Ray took over.  The heavy duty pain meds they gave me didn't agree.  I only took half doses anyway, but quit them on about my second day home.  Not very comfortable, but not horrible either.

I stumbled on the coolest story (I've had a bit of time to web surf):
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Annie also took a shift.  People brought me Samoas (on the tbl).  I couldn't be rude and refuse them.  What?...

I really like that wolf thing.  Sometimes I feel like I am not the nicest person.  I don't send cards to people, and get wrapped-up in my own stuff.  People came out of the woodwork to be nice to me last week.  They brought me things, sent me things, messaged me support.  I guess one thing I do well is pick good friends.  The wolf thing will help remind me how I want to be-- which wolf to feed.

And my animals continue to pull the love through me.  I really think that is important on a cellular level.

I know this is a lot of pics of my with no makeup on, but I was curious if I'd notice a change as I felt better.  Not really, which is kind of cool in its own way too.  Like, I'm still me all along, no matter what happens physically to me.

Dan has been good at taking care of me.  Yesterday he spent a lot of time cleaning while I laid like a blob on the sofa, and he hasn't made me feel bad about it or anything.  I'm hoping to get out and about more this week.  I'm a little worried I'm entering a larval state.  I can feel everything turning to goo.  I need to get out and move around a little, not anything big, but walking more at least.


strugglingwriter said...

I'm glad you are doing well and have so many people there who care about you to help you get better.

I like all the photos, especially the ones you are smiling.

Maery Rose said...

It sounds like you got out and about today. I bet tomorrow when it hits 50, you'll feel even better.

I've heard that wolf story before but it was a good reminder.

Maery Rose said...

I had to stop back by to see if you have word verification on and yes you do. I think Google did this to everyone, regardless of your settings. I hope you are having a good day enjoying the sound of "drip, drip, drip". =D

Heidi the Hick said...

Been thinking of you. I love it that even if things aren't all that pleasant , you're still looking for the positive!!

Do you remember last summer when I was doing some suffering? You said, "you're a human being, not a human doing." That stuck with me. Youre just really good that way.

Take your recovery time and pet the cat!!

pseudosu said...

Stuggling-- Awe. Thanks man. :)

Maery- Sorry about the captcha. It wasn't me it was google, I swear! Yes, getting up and around more each day. :)

Awe sweetie. Just today I told someone I had no idea why I even still had a blog about my boring dumb life, and then you check in like that. That's why I guess. Thanks. :)