This post is part bikey, part costumey, part we'll see what else burbles to the surface.
I told you guys a little while ago I was sort of bummed about not being able to recruit any girls to mountain bike with. I still am, a little. I've figured out it is probably partly because I am not good enough to ride with truly fast/expert riders, partly because for girls mountain biking tends to be kind of do or die. Not many women who aren't very good/fast are interested in doing it, because it is hard work and there is a high likelihood of getting hurt at some point. Another factor is that my trail is kind of a haul for anyone living in the cities, and rumored to be the most difficult trail. Another thing I have to cop to I guess, is that I know I have a weird intensity to me, and tendency to be very direct that can be off-putting. So yeah. Basically I'm kind of a reject.
Have you noticed a part/party/contributing factors theme yet? One seems to be developing. How exciting. Let's see what happens... (spoiler alert-- it goes way off the rails by the tail end.)
Anyhow-- I'm not just going to roll-over and quit riding, because I do love it in the way you love bad boyfriends. It's sure not always nice to me, and it seems I will never entirely figure it out, but the intermittent thrill of success and, well, *thrills*, is enough to keep me coming back for more abuse. With this in mind, I decided to work harder on my skills. I built a few little features in my yard to practice on. Maybe this will help it to feel more fun again, boost my confidence. Anyway-- it is for sure fun to whiz over this little teensy jump. I'll gradually increase the size of things as my skill/confidence creeps up.
A couple of weeks ago we had the opportunity to go on a tweed ride. This is where people dress up in kind of old-fashion-y clothes with a British spin on them and pedal around town, usually stopping at various pubs. Costumes on bikes-- what could be more fun?
It was fun-- the ride part was-- but Anoka sucks for pubs/good places to eat. There are however, a bunch of biker bars apparently. So there we were, amid throngs of leather wearing bad-asses and drunken post-vikings game bar-flies in our fancy-wear outfits on our bicycles. We ate gross bar food and had a beer (pop for me) and that was about it. As we rode away I tried to reassure the gawking biker chicks on the corner to not be intimidated by our *gang*. Me and my friend rang our bike bells at them and made "Vrooming" noises. They thought it was pretty funny.
That was fun, but I had 2 more costume rides to saddle-up for. Remember last year's costume?
This year I decided to go with a space woman motif. I began collecting components back in April-- mostly off Ebay and Craig's List. I made the jet-pack...
Dan was a Native American Indian. Who was ready to party.
The best part of the vid is how much fun a certain Indian is having.
The bar scene I could do without. It was the riding around I loved.
Here is Hula photo-bombing my helmet.
I'd just get the phone out and light it up, and drunks would begin stumbling towards us like zombie moths. They are harmless in the same was as zombies-- they are slow, uncoordinated, not smart, and generally, unarmed. At least-- no guns. So I'd frantically poke at my phone and when they got within about 20 feet we'd take off again. Eventually we found the car, and even this part was fun in that adventurey way I enjoy. Dan also had a blast.
The next day was the Halloween mountain bike race at the trail. I've gone from hanging about surreptitiously spying on the racers to racing, to riding around not racing but just having fun, to helping run the races, so there would be no bike involved for me this year, which was kind of a bummer but oh well. There was no way I was going to get my spacewoman outfit all filthy, so opted (lamely) for a black cat outfit I made years ago. It is perhaps the only non-slutty black cat outfit in existence and therefor should probably be placed in a time-capsule or something when I die for the good of woman-kind.
I was in kind of a crappy mood that day, which was really *off* for me. But this made me laugh my butt off--- Cool Trail Boos Rich as Evil Knievel. (The cute wolf or whatever in the background is Mrs. Cool Trail Boss Rich.) (Kristen)
Part of my out-of-syncness was also because it's just been a rough few months. Nothing is wrong, it's just been harder than normal to drag myself back up out of the crap. But I am working on it. And it's getting easier. But at times when I know damned-well I'm supposed to be having a butt-load of fun and I'm not because... just because-- it makes me extra crabby because it points-out how out of sync I am. (What a piece of work I am.) But it's part of my complicated fabric of life I guess. Work in progress till the day I die probably.
One thing I enjoyed watching at the race was this kid (blue fleece) who was hell-bent on creating a jack-o-lantern with a flaming (from the inside) face. He attracted all the other kids to his project because kids are natural pyros. It was interesting and hilarious watching them experiment. "It needs a marshmallow" "It needs some ashes" "Do pumpkin guts burn?" The main kid was like some kind of beautiful mad-scientist. Probably one of the most beautiful kids I've seen.
So what am I doing about it? I'm trying to find fun. Riding my bike. Going running. Being in the woods and purposely noticing how cool it is to BE IN THE WOODS. I'm paging through the faces of people I love in my mind and feeling my love for them. I'm trying to get out of my head and do things for other people. I'm making art. I'm making plans with friends. I'm making myself think about how lucky I am and making myself feel gratitude. All this is a way back. It just takes a while, but it always works, eventually.
I already feel tons better than I did about a month ago. :) This did not go where I thought it would, but kind of like night rides when you are dressed as a spacewoman, lost and being pursued by drunken zombies-- you just have to roll with it and find your way home.