Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Big sister

Hey people.  Fall, beautiful fall.  I hope you've been enjoying it because it goes really fast.  Metaphors about transformation abound...

Last weekend my sister came to town for a quick visit.  Look at her.  Isn't she gorgeous?  (Inside and out too, the whole package.)

She's been going through a divorce, which has sucked for her, being stuck down in the shit-hole small town in TX she lives in with very few friends left (since most couple friends have deserted her) and no family.  Sorry anyone who lives there, if you did not realize your town is a shit-hole, but, it is.

She needed to come up here to bask in the love of her tribe for a couple days.  My grandma was so excited to see her.  At 96 she's been dealing with the realization that her days are numbered.  her doctors have finally told her there isn't anything they can do for a 96 year old woman with heart failure, so she should just take her life day by day.  She wanted very badly to see Katie, in case it was her last chance.  She thinks Katie is very brave, and is proud of her.

Of course me and Dan were excited too.  Everyone was.  Up here we get her.

This poor kid.  Her divorce is sucking only slightly more than her 15 year crappy marriage to a narcissist who did nothing but ride her ass and criticize her.  It's a door she has to walk through to get to her new life in an uncertain future, that will at least be all hers.  She needed some family, and some fun.  Check and check.  We took her to Psycho Suzie's.  If you live in the Twin Cities and have not gone here-- go here.  As soon as possible.

Part of what sucks about living in a small shit-hole town is people are constantly letting you know what everyone else in town is saying about you behind your back.  This sounds like some made-up t.v. drama, but her soon to be ex and his family are big fish in this tiny pond.  His lawyer is the mayor, his new girlfriend (What?!  That was quick!  Uh-huh.) is a city councilwoman.  The big turkeys are def trying to get her down and crap all over her.  But she stays her own sweet Katie self.

Guess which one of us has always been the nice one.  Yep-- Katie.  She said this regarding a person who will always be in her life because of her kids; "I just can't help it.  Whenever I see her, I am still happy to see her, even if she is saying bad things about me behind my back."

As for her soon to be ex and his girlfriend; she's happy for them.  She says she is kind of hurt, but really glad to see him so apparently happy.  I don't know many women who could go there.  Here's her and my dad.  So much for the theory about girls picking a guy like their dad.  Not even close.  But it's not over for her yet!  I still think the right one is out there somewhere.

She loves to come back here in an almost visceral way.  She loves the smells, the changing seasons, the possibilities our area offers.  Her small town feels like a pen.   Here's her and my mom, who definitely still has a lot of mama bear in her.  We'll always be her cubs.

Katie has always loved Dan and vice versa.  She's known him since she was in high school or jr. high.  She likes her kids to be around him to see another way guys can be.   (Not assholes)

It makes me sick I can't swoop down there and fix everything for her.  It makes me almost cry to hear she feels so alone.  She is all about her kids right now.  Her personal stress level gets shelved.  She just looks at what's right in front of her--- what day she works next, what appointments the kids have, etc etc while the lawyers sort out the details.  She's sleeping on a matress on the floor of her daughter's bedroom.  No, sir Galahad did not offer to move out or to let her have the bed for now.

I'm sorry if this post is TMI for some of you.  I know it's a lot of perhaps over-sharing.  But this is my little sister.  I'm almost 5 years older, but we're both in our 40's now and it feels really crappy to be so helpless to help her.   This is a rare pic of her looking up to me, since she's actually taller now.

I know she'll be okay.  She is such a good person.  One thing I'm really proud of her for is that she isn't letting any of this change her.  She's still the same positive person she's always been-- very candid and down to earth, and funny.  How she manages to find humor in stuff right now is beyond me, but she is.

People better just watch out though.  I'm still the big sister and would totally *take care* of any bullies out there who mess with my little sis.


Maery Rose said...

Humor is such a good survival tool! I sure hope things start going Katie's way and that the kids come through this seeing the strong wonderful Mom they have.

Anonymous said...

I can help you 'take care' of any issues with the dink. I am not a very nice person with these situations and have no connection to tie me into the huge fire ball that leaped into the sky that night 2 weeks from now as he got into his car after... whoops...

Nate H.

pseudosu said...

Nate H.
I don't know who you are, but my statement about protecting my sister was of course tongue in cheek. This post is about keeping it positive in the face of adversity, which my sister is a fabulous example of. None of us has any ill will towards the father of my niece and nephew, or anyone else connected with this; Only love and good wishes for my sister, that she gets past this stressful time and into a new happier life soon. Positive vibes only please.