Who is Sue and what is Suelandia?

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

So... Anyone still here?

Hey people. First let me say, if you are looking for my professional site, this is not it.  Click the link over on the right.  This is my personal blog.  Secondly, I realize it is not very likely anyone will actually read this since I haven't posted anything in a zillion years, and besides that it is just a bunch of my ramblings, so-- if you are still reading, thanks; because I've got some stuff to say and it's nice to imagine someone out there listening. 

Sorry it has been so long.  I got caught in a loop of going "Why would anyone care what i think about ___", and then it seemed in order to return to posting I should have some kind of monumental news, and it just became more and more difficult to poke my head up again.

This reminds me of bumping into someone you have been very close to in the past, and asking, "So, how's it going?  What have you been up to?"  A slew of snapshots and video clips fly through your brain as galaxies form and are extinguished etc...  In the end it's all too overwhelming and you say, "Oh, you know... life."

So I won't even try to account for the missing time.  The very very short version is I have been aging the best I can despite all kinds of disappointing unavoidable deterioration; hopefully becoming less of a jerk, more patient and *kind*, and also caring less and less what people think of me.  Here's to the 50's.  ~*Clink*~

Here's what's up now:  My brain is exploding with ideas.  I've come to realize everyone isn't like this.  For many years I thought they were; that everyone was constantly receiving a barrage of images all the time.  Now I understand how lucky I am. 

It's marvelous to have this channel that's always on whenever you tune in, day or night and a wonderful escape at times.  It is def a little rabbit hole you can just let yourself fall into.  It's also a little frustrating if you are impatient or a perfectionist (the first, a little, the second, only as it applies to the quality of my own work) because often you are getting snippets or layers of images.  They're all drifting around in a giant soup in your brain and you no sooner begin to make sense of one than another floats over and obscures it.

This 2 min clip is a little jewel box that is the closest thing to describing simultaneously how my brain works visually, and also the experience I am continually trying to recreate for people with my art-- that sense of wonder.  The imagery in it is very much like that soup in my brain.  Intoxicating.  (Excuse the audio-- had to record off my screen)


I started a screen printing shop in my garage since I last posted.  this may seem abrupt, but i have actually been working towards this for a couple of years now.  I have had to learn a completely new set of skills, and even make some of my own tools etc-- invent things to help me to do everything by myself.  It's fun and interesting, and now that I have mastered the basics I'm starting the fun part--- experimenting; printing in ways and on materials that people told me would not be possible.  This has made my brain go into creative overdrive thinking of ways fabric can become integrated into my art.

I have a few big sculpture projects in the works too.  One thing I am determined to solve this year is funding.  I have TONS of really cool ideas, and I work extremely hard-- very long hours etc.  There really is not much of a division between my work and my life at this point.  My home has been taken over by screen printing and art supplies, and every waking moment seems to be spent wading through creative ideas.  I am not complaining.  This is the gift of my life.  I guess I was created to be a giant receiver of sorts, some kind of art dispenser.

But in art there is the conundrum of needing to get paid to keep doing what you do, and eat etc.  I'm still figuring out my tee website, getting eyeballs and wallets to that to help support me so i can keep going with that.  All the supplies involved with printing are very expensive.  Big sculptures need to be purchased somehow.  I love to work for months on a big amazing sculpture, but I only have so much yard space, and can't work for free.  This is not a hobby.

"Release" sold within 2 months of completion.  So that was very encouraging.  I have 4 projects right now, 2 have potential backers, 2 are labors of love I want to make very badly.  They would be leaps of faith, like Release was.  I'll start one of the 4 in Jan, probably the one I want to try crowd funding with, for a public site.  This project already has some support-- people who want to see it completed.

One thing about my constant "hungry" state-- it has kept me shuffling-- shadowboxing-- trying to solve for x.  It keeps me stirring the image soup and trying to spoon out ideas, because ultimately, I know it is on me to create things so amazing people will love and buy them.  That said, I have to admit I am tired of working 80 hour weeks and being poor.  I don't think it is too much to ask to want to continue to pursue my passion, and be compensated fairly.  So that will be a goal of mine going forward.

File under-- putting it out there to the Universe.

So that is my mission right now-- to make incredible things people want to buy; that enchant them.  To sift through the onslaught of images and ideas and find the jewels I can't ignore, and do my very best work on all levels, learn whatever new skills are needed, and make irresistible things that resonate-- that really affect people.


Anonymous said...

Well said. We all sell our souls in one way or another, ranges from working at a job you hate but the money is good, to working at a "job" you love, but the pay is crap. Somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot.
You have the talent and vision to make beautiful things.Keep working at the funding part.

mph5.com said...

Still here Sue and you are an inspiration to all of your fellow artísts out here. One day I too will feel enough financial freedom within the realm of artistic practicalities (of which I have none). That being said I have been focused on a daily affirmation that reminds me... "I will not be sad because of my financial position on earth. My success comes directly from God." Which is in one of many facets absolutely my ART. xx mwah!

pseudosu said...

Thank you, humans, for your thoughtful words and kind encouragements. :) I made a determination when I was a kid, actually, that my financial circumstances would never dictate my *happiness*, and to that end, I have been quite successful. I've always taken the path of liberty & fulfillment (or plain old hijinx) as opposed to a straight-up money path. I'm just putting it out there I now have another goal of making money at what I do, like any professional would expect to. :) I get that this is on me to manifest.

Mark Haglund said...

I"m still here. Keep posting. It is hard to get the energy to think about posting when so much mind power is going into new ideas and creations. It always cost me money when my brain runs wild with new creative processes. Good luck.